A letter from Dean Ellen O'Neill to the students, faculty, and staff at the Borough of Manhattan Community College, City University of New York, February 24, 1998:

It is very fitting that my letter comes to you on the eve of the penitential season of lent in my church, as I am offering an apology to you for my behavior, behavior for which I am truly sorry.

Please let me explain what happened. On Wednesday, January 21st at a meeting of the Long-Range Planning Committee, Lucille Hawkins and I joined four other members in a small breakout group. As the discussion circle formed, I noticed that Lucille's chair was not aligned with the rest of the chairs. She seemed to be sitting in the center of the circle. In an attempt at humor I said, "Lucille, you are the monkey in the middle of the group!" I was alluding to "monkey in the middle," a schoolyard game we played as children growing up in Elmira, New York. Lucille aligned her chair with the others and we proceeded with our discussion agenda.

It was not until Monday, January 26th that I understood the significance of what I had done. President Perez called me into his office for an early morning meeting and confronted me with my words and how deeply they hurt Lucille. He then asked Lucille to join us. We engaged in a very frank exchange that helped me see that the remark that I made in an attempt at humor—one that I would have made to any one else in the group who was sitting where Lucille was—was so insensitive and hurtful.

Later that morning I wrote Lucille a letter of apology and sent copies to each member of our discussion group. In the month since the incident occurred, Lucille and I have had a number of in-depth discussions about the incident, the pain she has suffered because of me, my own pain at being labeled a racist, and how we can rebuild our relationship.

Lucille and I had a relationship of mutual trust and respect before the incident, and we have had a positive work relationship since the incident. I am pleased she continues to be a part of our staff.

I made a mistake—a big one. But I have learned from it. I know I must be more sensitive to the ethnicity and racial differences represented here and I will be. I am proud to be a part of such a diverse and culturally rich community.

And so to Lucille, and to anyone else who was offended or hurt by my comment, let me say again—I am very sorry for the pain I caused and I hope you can forgive me.

I believe that some good can come of all of this, in the form of a heightened awareness of the sensitivity we all should have to the feelings of others.

I am told, lent comes from the old English word for "springtime"—a time of new birth, new life and growth. I hope all of us at BMCC can welcome this spring with renewed mutual understanding and respect.

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