An Inclusive Litany

2/7/94

The National Feminist Association of Ecuador has issued a warning: If Lorena Bobbitt is found guilty of dismembering her husband, the organization would similarly dismember one hundred American men in revenge. Luckily, Bobbitt was judged not guilty by reason of temporary insanity.

[Ed.: Ms. Bobbitt eventually lunched with Abdala Bucaram, the president of Ecuador, who said the meeting was an "extremely high honor." Bucaram, nicknamed "El Loco," was later ousted amid allegations of mental impairment.

Following a career in show business that included novel roles in films such as Frankenpenis, the victim of the attack, Mr. John Wayne Bobbitt, stunned the world by joining the clergy as an ordained priest in the Universal Life Church. The Rev. Bobbitt commented that he intended to use his "knowledge and experience to help people avoid similar tragedies."]