President Clinton's 1994 crime bill included a provision for midnight basketball leagues, which would ostensibly provide the opportunity for inner-city youths to play basketball at late hours rather than commit crimes. Asked whether he would want his own daughters up at midnight playing basketball, Vice President Gore had no comment. The provision also requires that a certain percentage of HIV-positive players be represented on each team.

[Ed.: How do you stop five black guys from robbing a store? Throw 'em a basketball. Ha, Ha, Ha! What previously was an objectionable joke is now law.]

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