If you're a woman being harassed in your workplace, self-proclaimed feminist witch Zsuszanna Emese Budapest has a novel remedy she claims she learned from a high Yoruba priestess, and which appears in her book, The Goddess in the Office. Go to your butcher and buy a pig's tongue, cut it open and rub it with black pepper, write the name of your harasser backward nine times in black ink on a white piece of paper, smear some of your own urine on the paper, fold the paper away from yourself and insert it in the pig's tongue while keeping a mental image of your harasser in mind, press a rusty nail through the tongue, take the tongue "as far as you can get from your house within a reasonable time," dig a hole and bury the tongue, fill the hole, pee on it, "then leave and don't look back." Budapest concludes, "Within a moon the harasser should change his behavior or leave the office."

[Ed.: Ms. Budapest also writes of her encounters with the "Wild Woman," whose image dwells inside the psyches of all women. "Wild Woman represents our bodies, our genetic past, our gender and instincts, and our right brain," Budapest writes. "The Wild Woman loves a ritual, the chanting and the humming, the shared breath." She is also "fond of shopping, because it reminds her of ancient foraging."]

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