Writing in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, a group of pediatricians and neurologists conclude that Winnie-the-Pooh probably suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder as well as obsessive-compulsive tendencies, and should be put on a low-dose regimen of Ritalin as soon as possible. According to the article, Pooh and his friends in the Hundred Acre Wood exhibit a variety of disorders described in the American Psychiatric Association's authoritative Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Piglet has an anxiety disorder whose symptoms include blushing and stammering, and he should be taking anti-panic medication such as paroxetine. Eeyore suffers from "chronic dysthymia" and should be taking an antidepressant such as fluoxetine. Owl is "obviously bright, but dyslexic." Tigger is hyperactive and shows a "recurrent pattern of risk-taking behaviors," like clambering tall trees and eating haycorns and thistles, though the authors disagree on whether he needs a stimulant or a sedative. And while Christopher Robin does not yet have a diagnosable condition other than that he lacks parental supervision and talks to animals, his haircut and clothes illustrated in the Milne books lead the doctors to believe there may be "possible future gender identity issues."

While the article is no doubt tongue-in-cheek, its authors insist there's a serious underlying point. "These characters manifest some pretty significant disorder patterns," says principal author Sarah Shea, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician in Halifax, Nova Scotia. "Sadly, the forest is not, in fact, a place of enchantment, but rather one of disenchantment, where neurodevelopmental and psychosocial problems go unrecognized and untreated."

†