An Inclusive Litany

9/20/00

Cinemax is airing a new movie by former humorist Woody Allen, titled Picking up the Pieces. The plot of the film concerns a butcher (Allen) who carves up his wife and buries the parts in the desert. One of the hands, with a stiff middle finger, is discovered by a blind woman who is promptly cured and declares it to be the hand of the Virgin Mary. She goes to a money-grubbing priest, who is having sex with a prostitute, and he advertises the hand as a miracle-working relic that has produced such wonders as enlarged breasts for a woman and a big penis for a dwarf. Along the way, viewers are informed that Mary Magdalene was Jesus' whore and Mother Teresa had "sex slaves."

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