An Inclusive Litany

12/6/99

An Associated Press dispatch, November 27, 1999:
A Canadian tourist who claims that his penis was crushed by a faulty toilet seat at a Starbucks Corp restaurant has sued the giant coffee retailer for $1.5 million, his attorney said Monday.

"Our client, Edward Skwarek, was in a seated position on the toilet when he turned to retrieve the toilet paper in back of the seat when the seat shifted causing his penis to be caught and crushed between the seat and the bowl," said Richard Robbins, the lawyer for Skwarek, 37, of Toronto.

The suit, filed Nov. 26 in Manhattan Supreme Court, alleges the coffee house was careless in "allowing a defective toilet seat to remain open... causing a hazardous and unsafe condition... in its public restrooms." ...

The suit also claims that as a result of Starbucks' carelessness, Skwarek suffered a "crushed penis, Peyronie's disease, retrograde ejaculation with consequent substantial reduction in sperm count, infertility, severe bruising to his penis and sexual function impairment."

Peyronie's disease usually causes deviation of the erect penis to one side...

Skwarek seeks $1 million in damages and his wife $500,000 because she has been "deprived of his services."