When the children of Israel came to the Sinai Desert, Moses took himself up to the mountain to have a chat with the Almighty. And the Almighty told him, "Tell 'em that if they make a deal with me that they'll keep, it'll be on the one with me always. Now, you go and tell 'em."Moses climbed down from the mountain and told the elders of the people what the Almighty had said and everyone said, "Yeah, that's cool. We can deal with that."
And many months later, the Almighty came down with thundering and lightning. It was a sight to behold. He gave them commands that help make the deal complete.
"I am the Almighty, your God, who brought you outta Egypt when things were tough. Don't put anyone else before Me.
"Don't make any carved objects or things that look like what is in heaven or below. And don't bow down to these things like they are anything heavy. Not ever!
"You shouldn't dis the Almighty's name, using it in cuss words or rapping with one another. It ain't cool, and payback's a monster.
"After you've worked six days, give the seventh to the Almighty." (The Almighty made the heavens and earth in six days. He rested on the seventh day and blessed it as right on.)
"You shouldn't be takin' nothin' from your homeboys.
"Give honor to your mom and dad, and you'll live a long time.
"Don't waste nobody.
"Don't mess around with someone else's ol' man or ol' lady.
"Don't go 'round telling lies on your homebuddies.
"Don't want what you can't have or what your homebuddy has. It ain't cool."
The folks were scared out of their wits. They figured it was better that the Almighty talked straight to Moses instead of them 'cuz it was just too heavy for words.
Here are the titles of various chapters:
Cain Wastes Abel
Abram Kicks Some Butt
Abraham Up Against the Wall
Jacob Flees His Uncle's Crib
Joseph's Brothers Gets What's Coming
The Kohath Brother's Gig
Israel Getting Down With the Wrong Folks
